New Moon Ritual

Happy New Moon!

Below is an excerpt from the Moonprints report I recently purchased from the Moon Circles website (http://www.mooncircles.com/). I've read several articles at this website about different astrological topics and I've been really impressed. The report I purchased was written by Dana Gerhardt. It's really well-written and personalized to my chart information. Visit the website for some great articles and information on the reports.
I thought it would be appropriate to share about Moon Circles today as today is the New Moon in Gemini. Gerhardt said of the new moon, "Each new moon, then, is an opportunity for you to focus on a particular area of your life--to transform, strengthen, revise, or dream there--whatever is most appropriate given your current life circumstances. At the Full moon two weeks later, you'll see the results of your intentions and also gain new insights or new direction in that facet of your life."

Moon Circles offers a simple, yet powerful, moon ritual at their website: http://www.mooncircles.com/moonritual.html . I'm looking forward to giving it a try myself today.
What are your New Moon Wishes for this month? If you are looking for another great resource about making New Moon wishes, check out Jan Spiller's New Moon Astrology (http://astore.amazon.com/sanctuary0a-20/102-9216864-4152960?%5Fencoding=UTF8&node=17 )

Have a blessed day!
Nancy
Nancy Nicholas
Life Coach/Medium
Crossroads Coaching/Empowering Lightworkers
http://www.crossroadscoachingonline.com
http://www.empoweringlightworkers.com

Is it true? Understanding Relationship Dynamics

Nancy Nicholas
Holistic Life Coach and Intuitive Healer
http://www.crossroadscoachingonline.com
http://www.empoweringlightworkers.com
http://www.sanctuaryatcrossroads.com


This is my response to a coaching question submitted awhile ago. I mentioned Byron Katie's Inquiry Method in a post to my Empowering Life Coaching blog (http://nancy-empoweringlightworkers.blogspot.com/) and thought it would be good to get this out there again. I hope you find it helpful!


"We all do emotional gymnastics to be seen as wonderful or funny, just to get what we already have. And because we're doing the gymnastics, we don't see that we already have it." ~Byron Katie~

COACHING QUESTION
"I have many wonderful people in my life who love me and who I love. I find myself feeling unhappy though because it frequently seems that I am the one doing most of the reaching out. What should I do?"

NANCY'S RESPONSE
Great question! I actually was struggling with this issue recently and thanks to a locked car door (with the keys inside!) that left me stranded at the library for 50 minutes, I found a great book to help!

SUGGESTIONS
from I Need Your Love--Is That True? How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead by Byron Katie

INQUIRY METHOD: Byron Katie explains a simple method of questioning to help us look at the thoughts we are accepting as true. She suggests that when a thought comes into your mind that makes you feel unhappy or unloved, you should ask yourself the following:

Is it true?
Can I absolutely know that it's true?
How do I react when I think this thought?
Who or what would I be without the thought?

Then, turn the thought around, and find three genuine examples of how each turnaround is as true or truer than the original statement.

I've been using this and I'm finding that Katie is right on about the fact that we often accept thoughts as true without really examining them. For instance, here's an example from my own life connected to your question. I was upset with my husband the other day because he didn't call me all day and came home late. The thought that was playing in my head was that he obviously didn't love me because he never calls me and I always have to call him. When I used the inquiry method with this thought, I realized that this thought wasn't true. I know my husband loves me very much and there were several reasons (which had nothing to do with me) which had led to him not calling me all day. It is also not true that he "never" calls me (I easily found three examples to prove it). Yet, I had myself all upset and angry by letting that thought get a hold of me!

CHOOSE THE DIRECT ROUTE: To get your needs met, Katie recommends that you take "the direct route." She says, "By now your needs are familiar. And you know what the effect is on your life when you believe you're entitled to have them met and it doesn't seem to be happening. The result is a hopeless quest filled with separation, frustration, and resentment." She says first to use the inquiry method and if you find that the need is something you do still see as a need, then be gentle to yourself and ask for it to be met directly from those you love. So for your example, if you truly feel that your loved ones are not extending themselves enough, then you need to ask them to do something specific to alter this. For example, "I need you to call me if you are going to be late."

She also says when you are ready though, that the direct route is to "let reality be the guide to your needs: What I need is what I have." She gives the following examples of this method: "How do you know when you don't need people? When they're not in your life. How do you know when you do need them? When they are in your life." She says you can also use that with those thoughts where you feel you "should" be doing something or making some decision. She says that we "need" to do something is just a thought. If it really is a need, then we will be doing it.

Going back to your question, you might want to ask yourself if you are doing things for others because you "need" to or are you doing things because you want approval or to have what you've given reciprocated? I know that I have found myself doing things for my family members because subconsciously I really want them to do the same for me. Usually, they don't know that is how I'm feeling (and I can't blame them because I don't always see it myself!), and they don't respond as I'd secretly hoped. This leads to frustration and unhappiness. What I'm learning to do instead is to recognize when I need something, and if possible, I give that to myself. This has saved me a lot of hurt feelings and misunderstandings with those I love.

OTHER COMMENTS: I would recommend getting this book for yourself as it is filled with lots of wonderful examples and practical exercises you can try (much more than I can share here). For me, the possibility of being free of the need for approval, love and appreciation from others is very enticing. I do believe that everything we need is provided and often I can see that it is my own approval, appreciation and love that I'm really seeking. As Katie says, we save ourselves a lot of grief by recognizing that what we are seeking, is within ourselves. The book is available in my online bookstore (http://astore.amazon.com/sanctuary0a-20) under Love and Relationships.

BEST WISHES!

Surviving Tough Life Changes

4/3/2008

A friend emailed me yesterday after receiving our monthly newsletter. She was excited to see that my new self-help e-workbook, Soul Friends Guide to Surviving the Pit: A Workbook for Surviving and Thriving through Tough Life Changes was now available on our website. My friend, Trish, was one of my "soul friends" during the time I went through my divorce...back when I got to know the "pit" up close and personal.

Trish mentioned how she remembered the "pit" days well, but she hadn't had a day like that in a very long time. I realized that I haven't either. Not to say I haven't had some tough times since...that's part of life...but nothing like I experienced back then. Yet, I also realize learning how to get out of the pit brought me the most precious gifts.

If you are in the middle of a major life change...a time when your whole world seems to have completely changed over night...I send you these words of hope. An uncle of mine said at the time I was going through my divorce, that he was happy for me. He said that while he was sorry I was suffering, he also understood that I was being called to go on one of the most amazing and incredible journeys we experience in this lifetime. I was being invited to discover who I was at the deepest level...to meet my soul...to find who I was beyond the roles I'd played.

Eight years later, I can tell you he was absolutely right. While I can't say that was an easy time, I can say that I wouldn't give up what came from it for anything in the world. Journeying home to yourself is the greatest gift, and often the opportunity to do so comes when life seems most bleak.

So if you are in the middle of a life crisis, hang in there. God is calling to you and asking you to come meet your soul in a way that will open your life and bring you joy like you've never experienced. Keep asking for help...watch for signs...and you'll get through.

And remember...your Soul Friends are right there with you!

Take care,

Nancy

Spring Cleaning for Health

Live Well Column

By Paula Vetter

Yes, it's TRUE. Spring is just around the corner! As our thoughts turn to "Spring Cleaning" it is important that we remember to begin with ourselves. Just as we are eager to rid our homes of stagnant air and accumulated dust and debris, we can help to rid our bodies of toxins and "tune up" our metabolism. Then we will be prepared to greet warm weather with healthy vibrant energy. Tips:

1. Drink at least 8 8 oz glasses of plain pure water daily. (Reverse osmosis or filtered water)

2. Avoid carbonated beverages, artificial sweeteners, trans fats, MSG, and high fructose corn
syrup. All of these are toxic to your cells.

3. Never microwave food in plastic or styrofoam. These release toxins into your food.
(Microwaving changes the molecular structure of your food and destroys nutrients too!)

4. Avoid adding toxins to your environment. We inhale toxins and absorb them thru our skin
as well as ingesting them in our food and drink. Eliminate chemical room deodorizers, fabric
softener sheets, lawn chemicals, toxic household cleaners, and be sure to air out any
clothes that are dry cleaned before wearing them or even bring them indoors. Hang on
porch or in garage to air out and dissipate toxic cleaning solvents.

5. Consider a natural organic herbal cleanse to support your liver, kidneys and digestive
system to restore balance and achieve optimal wellness.

6. Use a rebounder (mini-trampoline) to encourage good lymph flow and detoxification.

7. Start a gentle stretching program (Yoga, Pilates, etc.) to boost circulation.

8. MOVE your body daily for 30 to 40 minutes, but begin slowly if you have been hibernating
this winter. Flowers do not bloom overnight.....be gentle but persistent and you too will be
radiant before spring becomes summer.

The 10-10-10 Rule

Start Small… But Think Big

by Cathy Posner

Have you ever (who hasn’t?) been tortured by making a decision and wondering what it’s impact will be? I employ a strategy a friend shared with me. Not much later, I ran across the source article. It was an article written by Suzy Welch in the September 2006 issue of O! Magazine. I have found it a great guideline and tool when facing a difficult decision. I will paraphrase it here:

The 10-10-10 Rule

As you face a difficult decision (and this works for any aspect of your life), ask yourself the following questions:
Will it matter in 10 minutes?
Will it matter in 10 months?
Will it matter in 10 years?
What is the impact of my actions within these timeframes?

You will find that, by using this technique, decisions are often much clearer and easier to make. Issues that we perceive as having long-term or more significant impact on our lives or the lives of others often don’t matter as much as you think in the big picture.

Create a Peaceful Environment

Simple Steps Column

by Nancy Nicholas

This time of year, spring fever begins with a vengeance. While you are waiting for winter to end, take the time to move out the old stagnant energy from your work place and home. Below are some simple steps you can take to create a peaceful, fresh environment:

Thoroughly clean with an environmentally friendly cleaning product. This will help remove the accumulated dust and debris from winter. I add a few drops of peppermint or lavender oil to the Shaklee cleaner I use. It makes cleaning much more enjoyable and leaves a wonderful scent in the room when I’m done.

Take care of clutter. I know I tend to let things pile up during the winter months both at home and work. Set aside a day to pack up anything unneeded or unwanted. Cleaning out cluttered drawers, desks, and closets really helps to renew your energy.

Gently scent your environment with aromatherapy oils and sprays. Savannah Moon makes a wonderful lavender mint room spray. Another favorite approach of mine is to use a few drops of my favorite essential oils in a diffuser.

Consider adding plants and crystals to clean the air and energy. I spoke to Corky Larson of Inner Harmony Wellness Center about how to use crystals to create a better energetic atmosphere. He recommended using Selenite crystals which can be placed around the room to “vacuum” out lower energies.

Play peaceful music. Listen to a nature sounds or other peaceful music to create the atmosphere you desire. My favorite artist is Enya.

It can be tough to get yourself motivated to take the steps needed to reenergize your environment, but the results are well worth the effort. Give it a try!

Career Transition: Do Work You Love

Being Prepared for A Career Transition
by Cathy Posner, Career Coach

http://www.crossroadscoachingonline.com

Nothing can be quite as overwhelming (or exciting) as when you are looking for a new job. If you are under a time constraint, that pressure can be monumental. And trying to create or update your resume when you are in a time pinch rarely results in something that will highlight your skills to your best advantage. One way to decrease some of that pressure- and to really shine for a potential employer- is to always have a current resume. You can do that by:

1) Adding current information- contact information, new responsibilities at your current job, and involvement in new professional or community organizations etc.- every six to eight months.
2) Adding information about your volunteer work or community involvement. Many people think it’s not important to include this information but it often showcases some of your best and unique abilities.
3) Revisiting descriptions about your past positions or employment. Do they still reflect what you want them to reflect? Can some of the responsibilities be deleted or modified to best suit your current career goals?
4) Creating several versions of your resume to address jobs in different industries or fields. For this, you will focus your skills and employment history to a specific kind of job.

If you do not have an extensive work history, make a list of the various roles in your life (mother, caretaker of elderly parents, church volunteer, etc.) and the associated skills and responsibilities (maintaining schedule of five family members, liaison between nursing home staff and insurance companies, instructor or coordinator of religious education classes, etc.) You can then create a resume that is centered around your skills rather than your employment history.

For more information, contact Cathy Posner (Cathy@crossroadscoachingonline.com) or consider attending her two-part class on Career Transition: Do the Work You Love through the Highland Schools Community Education classes.